Forgetting how to trust & what you can do to remember

Not Trusting Keeps Us in a Trap of Perpetual Inner Stress Centeringtools pictures_distrust

We live in a world that carries many longstanding belief systems that tell us we can't afford to easily, or even fundamentally at all, trust.  When we lose our ability to trust we come to terribly and helplessly understand the interrelated and devastating results to our body, mind, emotions and spirit from this state of dis-ease.  

It puts us in a perpetual state of core stress that directs us to either attack or defend, escape or be spiritually destroyed.  We cannot wholly and freely be present to live our lives or create our dearest dreams without the essential ability to trust.

Five simple questions anyone can ask to remember how and why to trust in others

Throughout my holistic practice, I've used a series of five reflective questions followed by five fundamental truths to locate where and how our "trust instinct" can, throughout our demanding and stressful lives, be forgotten.

These questions are designed to restore our instinct and right to trust.  I invite you to settle back into a deeper meditative and reflective state, and journal about the following questions:

What was it like to trust in others before you knew that subtle distinction between naivety and sincere, justified trust?  List 5 reasons why you frequently doubt in (rather than trust in) another. 

Of those reasons, how many refer to previous experiences you had and how many were based on the particular circumstances of the encounter? 

Finally, describe a circumstance in which you knowingly did not trust in another even though that person acted consistently good to you and/or displayed no outward signs of malicious intent? 


Remember the circumstances of your last truly "trusting" encounter with another. 

What is your understanding of trust (that is, how would you define it to a 9 year old)
Who were you brought up to trust? Qualify them in any way you deem fit and be honest with yourself.

What did you feel and what behaviors did you show whenever you ended up not trusting in another?
Now take a few minutes to read through your answers.  Experience and record whatever insights then occur.

Know What You Really Lose When You Can't Trust

Continue to more deeply reflect and even meditate on the following five truths about loss of trust.  Consider the effect of these results in your life, and once more, record any insights which occur:

When we aren't truly safe we can't trust.
When trust is violated it takes a long time to recover trust.
When we're anxious at our core we are unable to trust.
When we can't love we can't trust.
When we aren't really free we aren't able to trust.

Now write each of the above sentences as its exact opposite.  For example, the first sentence could read, When I'm truly safe I can trust.
Continue rewriting each sentence in this way, and when you've finished, once more, settle back and read out loud these rewritten five sentences.   

The Only Core Place You Really Can Recover Trust to Create Miracles in Your Life

What happens inside you?  Again, record any insights which occur.
The real truth about recovering trust is that when we grow up and have fundamentally developed the ability to take care of ourselves, and be truly responsible in our lives, we understand that our only real inner task is to commit to trusting ourselves without condition.  Are you ready to do that, as what I believe to be our greatest and best personal growth challenge?
I invite you, with much love, faith and and respect, to dare to commit to yourself and the universe you experience to do whatever it takes to restore your ability to trust yourself, letting go of any belief that you have to receive any outside guarantees in order to survive and freely live your life.  That is your key to the amazing miracles of empowerment, happiness, peace and letting go that you will then experience.


  1. Thank you for this article. It’s reflective and helpful.

  2. Thank you, Lora – I’m so glad to hear this is helpful for you! All the best, Marjorie

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