When we are under a lot of stress, we can understandably feel deathly afraid to admit feeling a sense of despair. It is significant that despair is part of the next-to-the-last stage of grief, right before the final stage of acceptance, which is where complete resolution and healing occur. When we are in the throes of major crises – and who isn’t, these days? – we understandably feel despair.
Here are ten transformational tips I’ve developed and continue to offer clients with great reported results to turn despair into determination to overcome and succeed:
1. Dare to admit to yourself that you feel a sense of despair and stop fighting your own true feelings.
2. Tell yourself at least five times a day, “This too shall pass” – and don’t worry about how, accepting the fact that it won’t help you.
3. Walk outside every day as much as possible in nature for at least forty minutes to ground yourself, and open your breath and spirit to receive the light.
4. List all the things you feel despair about, and then on a separate sheet of paper write each item as its exact opposite.
5. When you’ve finished, put a big “X” across your first list – then title the separate list, “Resolutions I Choose”.
6. Now add the phrase, “I am” or “I have” to every item on this list, and then read the list every day in a deeper meditative state, fully imagining this all comes to pass.
7. Every day do something to help someone or something, and let go of any expectation regarding outcome.
8. In a deeper meditative state, imagine you can connect with your soul, and then ask your soul to tell you what specific, small thing you could do today to best support yourself.
9. Promise your soul you will do this today, and then do it.
10. Ask yourself what you could do that you feel in your heart of hearts would be an act of courage, and journal about it, describing all your feelings that come up.
Beyond the ten tips are the courageous choices that will transform despair into determination to overcome and succeed. In order to do that we need to develop our skill to “go the distance” with integrity, wisdom and inner strength. Luck and support naturally follows, and we become greater than we were before.