Failing to Be Assertive is What Fails and Loses Ourselves
We’re taught not to be assertive in our world. This is the way it’s been for a very long time, certainly since we decided as humans creating societies to disempower women . . . say, beginning about 5,000 years ago.
We’ve all failed and lost our greater selves as a result. Assertiveness is about both affirming and equalizing individual power. No one is innately more powerful than anyone else. Once we can fully understand and accept that within our own selves, we can revolutionize the world in which we live to become a world truly occupied by accepting, activated equals.
We Can Only Be Fully Responsible for Our Own Lives
What do I mean by that? I mean when we really get that no one has power over us and that we don’t have power over anyone else, it frees us to become just responsible wholly for our lives and being able, then, to choose how we will live our lives, knowing we have to answer to ourselves for the choices we make and that the world will correspondingly hold us accountable for our related behaviors.
That is fair and, energetically, I would add, all that supports ongoing development and betterment for the whole human race. It also sets the stage for corresponding mind-body healing to occur.
The Definition, and What It is Not
What is assertiveness? It is one’s ability and willingness to present one’s whole, authentic self from a place of inherent integrity and understanding that, whatever the outcome, one stays true to oneself and, correspondingly respects and affirms that right for all others.
What isn’t it?
1. Assertiveness has no other agenda.
2. It expects nothing.
3. It does not look for any particular outcome.
4. It understands there are no guarantees.
5. It understands that nothing about the process involves any questions about survival.
6. It affirms equality to all others.
7. It always comes from a center of transcendent trust – by that I mean, trust that remains inviolate and never changes no matter what does, or what doesn’t happen afterward.
The Power of Seven to Express Spiritual Completion
Seven is a powerful number, a mystical number and, in numerology, which is a metaphysical explanation that all numbers have particular meaning, it is understood to be the number which expresses the vibration of spiritual completion. Now let’s see what assertiveness is:
1. It comes from unconditionally loving, and being willing to stand by, yourself as your greater self.
2. It comes from your heart, which always exists in a place of courage, truth and integrity.
3. It is how you can set yourself free, and transcend faulty belief systems and unhealed woundedness.
4. It produces transcendence.
5. It is an initiative act of intent to be free.
6. It inspires others to be more correspondingly assertive – however, that can never be predetermined, dictated, or managed.
7. It reflects and expresses your level of consciousness.
Assertiveness How-to’s
What are key how-to’s to expressing yourself assertively?
1. Stick, as simply as possible, to review the present facts.
2. Own what you say by using the word, “I” rather than “You” or They”.
3. Come from a place of understanding and defining yourself at the core of your being as not being a victim.
4. Express your true feelings without looking for the other person to have to do anything.
5. Let go of any impulse to manage, fix or demand anyone having to do anything.
6. Come from an inner center of knowing your survival is not at stake here.
7. Speak about what you want and need, and what you correspondingly wish for.
How Will You Know When You Are Really Being Assertive Versus Passive-Aggressive?
1. You will feel an out-of-context sense of rightness within yourself no matter what else is happening.
2. You will feel an intuitive sense of comfort, release, and energy – uplifted.
3. You will care less about what happens next.
4. You will feel a greater sense of self.
5. You will feel more detached.
6. You may experience a sense of compassion that can extend to you and anyone else involved, and more removed from power struggles.
7. You will feel more unconditionally in touch with your feelings.
Some Additional Truths
1. Assertiveness builds and recovers self-esteem.
2. It legitimizes anger.
3. It accesses hope.
4. It requires responding to another as a whole, mature, integratively health human being, and thus is a very complementary and affirming, as well as healthy way to relate to anyone.
5. It inspires personal development to everyone involved.
6. It exponentially returns to you personal power and creativity.
7. It always produces personal and spiritual transformation.
Check-points to Stay on the Assertiveness Track for All These Wonderful Results
1. Ask yourself if whatever you’re inclined to do comes from a place of loving yourself or fearing a possible outcome to the situation that you think might destroy you, and listen and note all that correspondingly comes up inside you by way of response.
2. Ask yourself what’s the worst thing that could happen if you risk responding assertively, and then ask yourself if, in your heart of hearts, that is real.
3. Ask yourself if you didn’t care what happened, what you would do, and then challenge yourself to, from a place of equally considering yourself and whoever else is involved, correspondingly respond.
4. Imagine five years from now that you are completely moved past this situation, and, from that space of being, to evaluate how assertively or unassertively you responded – and carry out the most assertive response you see.
5. Consider what you can do to best allow your greater self to emerge through this experience, and carry out that choice.
6. Settle back, go into a deeper meditative space by deepening your breath, and then count to yourself five, full, deep, easy breath. Then for your next several breaths, every time you breathe in say this phrase to yourself, Now my heart chooses, and every time you breathe out say this phrase to yourself, I accept all outcomes from this.
7. Continuing to stay in this deeper meditative space of greater breathing, greater spiritual space, say to yourself, I trust myself now, unconditionally.
Recovering Trust Recovers Our Whole, Empowered Self.
Let the healing begin!
Move yourself to your center of personal power, and then, receive.