Fear Gets in Our Way
In our culture we may be told our mothers say this to us to soothe us and take away our fear. Sometimes we’re lucky enough to have mothers tell us this – mine did, and it helped – but really didn’t work.
Fear does get in the way of being able to speak up for ourselves, commit to doing what’s right, and actually dare to risk making our dreams come true. It “ties our tongues” and scrabbles our brains. How can we release fear, even transmute fear into something that won’t get in our way?
Ten Tips to Get Past Your Fears
Here are my ten proven steps to get past fear ruining your plans and your life:
1. Begin by facing it, which means literally name it. What really makes serious headway is journaling about your fear directly and simply; and include a full description of all the ways you feel and think without telling yourself what you have to do about any of it.
2. Tell someone whom you know loves and accepts you unconditionally for just who you are all about what you’re afraid of, asking them to simply listen to you and, if you wish, express to you how they feel about you.
3. Consider who you most admire, living or dead, fictional or real; and then imagine that they show you how they successfully deal with this fear.
4. Record this vision extensively and then commit to carrying out this approach step by step as your “mindful, empowered experiment”.
5. Ask yourself in a relaxed, reflective, very objective state what is the worst thing that could actually happen to you if your fear is realized; and progressively ask yourself with each answer as it occurs, “and then what? . . . and then what? . . . and then what?”
6. Ask yourself as well in this state what you feel will happen if you don’t settle your fear, and hold this focus until you feel complete with it.
7. Decide what activities will move your focus away from your fear and spend some serious time experiencing this, telling yourself you are more than your fear, and life goes on.
8. Imagine, however you are able, releasing your fear – transmuting, or turning over your fear so it disappears. What will you do then? Experience this new vision.
9. Focus on any memory you have of getting past a central fear as completely as you possibly can, and then record your experience; noting how you felt as that occurred and how you feel now.
10. Return to your original list of your fears, and write all of them as their exact opposite, putting the phrase “I am” or “I have” before each of them. Read through this new list, observing what happened to your fear.
Postscript: As life goes, This too shall pass – but in the meantime, let your heart guide you to carry out what it chooses to do, knowing it is right and part of your sense of integrity, faith, and courage in yourself and your capacity to draw on your own inner strength – it does move mountains!