Here is a writing exercise I created to release guilt, shame and blame for you to try. I invite you to settle back, close your eyes, and take several easy, deep, cleansing breaths. . . As you sense your breathing becoming automatic in its regular, opening rhythm, for your next several breaths say the word free to yourself. Observe your sensations . . . and then for the next minute or so, say to yourself in this sequence the following three sentences – one at a time for several breaths, followed by the second, then the third: . . . I am free from guilt . . . I am free from blame . . . I am free from shame . . . Continue to observe your sensations as you fully experience your easy, deep, regular breaths. Then say repeatedly to yourself for a minute or two, I forgive . . . and I am forgiven . . .
All Three Come From A Fear Of Helplessness
Over and over in my practice I see people tormented by these three responses. I don’t view them as basic emotions, but behavioral responses to unresolved trauma that reflects a core sensation of fear of being unable to get beyond helplessness.
In fact I believe guilt specifically comes from incompletely acknowledged helplessness. Blame reflects some unexpressed thought around not being responsible, and shame combines the two.
Try My Guided Meditation And Writing Exercises To Help Heal Guilt, Shame and Blame
When we are in the midst of a crisis we don’t connect to these sensations. The crisis grabs our capacity to finally be fully aware and present – and respond accordingly.
Here is a writing exercise I created to release guilt, shame and blame for you to try. I invite you to settle back, close your eyes, and take several easy, deep, cleansing breaths.
As you sense your breathing becoming automatic in its regular, opening rhythm, for your next several breaths say the word free to yourself. Observe your sensations . . . and then for the next minute or so, say to yourself in this sequence the following three sentences – one at a time for several breaths, followed by the second, then the third:
I am free from guilt.
I am free from blame.
I am free from shame.
Continue to observe your sensations as you fully experience your easy, deep, regular breaths. Then say repeatedly to yourself for a minute or two, I forgive . . . and I am forgiven . . .
Allow this meditation over the next minute or so to bring you to a space that feels like a space of completion for now; and then return to full waking consciousness and open your eyes.
Take the next several minutes and record (including drawing, if you like) your whole experience, including any insights which occur. When you’ve finished, settle back and read through all you’ve recorded.
Consider what you have learned about how guilt, blame and shame exists within you; and your capacity to shift and more greatly understand your relationship to it. Now imagine you have completely released all three.
How does it feel? Complete the following sentence: If only I didn’t feel guilt, shame or blame, I would . . .
As Awareness Increases, So Do You Have The Power To Free Yourself For Greater Wellbeing
You have just identified your challenge to more greatly commit to what your soul most wants for you, within your real potential for higher awareness and greater capability. This is your blueprint for transformational action, freedom, and wellbeing.
I both invite and challenge you to dare, risk and most greatly choose this grand adventure in self-healing and development to earn your freedom and freely be who you really are – for yourself and the greater good of the world you live in. Keep me posted!
In love and light, Marjorie
First of all, Thank You. When I first thought of guilt, blame and shame, I couldn’t think of anything I felt guilty about. Then it came to me. I feel guilty when I am happy and am around others who are in pain and suffering, then part of me feels guilty and thinks “how can I be so happy when there is so much pain and suffering in the world”, and the truth is I do what ever I can to take responsibility. So I earned my happiness. Instead of guilt I will just try compassion. Blame? Yes I do continue to notice when I do it and that it always comes back to taking responsibility. Shame? wow! very insightful. I also see how the opposite of helplessness and not taking responsibility is empowerment. So Thanks for all your help in helping me work through what I need to work through which sometimes feels very overwhelming and neverending. But at least I am taking responsibility.
I have a client who cannot get over her guilt and shame and I am looking for ways to help her. Her situation is complex. She was dating a married man and was riding on the back of his motorcycle when they got into an accident. He died at the scene. She went head-first through a barbed-wire fence, lost an eye, among many other injuries from which she is still recovering. She feels guilty for dating him and guilty for surviving, thinking she should have been the one who died. He was married with kids and she is single. Any ideas on how I can support her recovery?