Relationships That Don’t Work Produce Destructive Results
Much of what moves people to seek my counseling services is feeling stuck and powerless to know how to deal with successfully challenging relationships. Relationships can “get off track” for many reasons, all of which have to do with unacknowledged fears and wrongly assuming the only choice of response is to become a victim.
Adults are never victims, yet one can be horribly, extensively caught in this “web” of allowing oneself to be intimidated, and then deluding oneself into believing that one is powerless to freely respond. A sense of being compromised, even trapped in ways that can fully blow real integrity can even more extensively fuel power struggles, infantile behavior, and a great deal of destructive outcomes that prevent healthy loving exchanges from occurring.
You Can Find Your Way to Determine How to Support the Greater Good and Transcend Challenging Relationships
This brings its own “poison” that further entangles everyone drawn into these locked-in situations, making them much worse. The solution is to feel desperate enough and courageous enough to decide to be assertive, understand and speak one’s truth, and refuse to be diverted from understanding where the real greater good exists.
As that is uncovered one is able to determine how to truly help create and support it. Here are some key spiritual guidelines I’ve developed in counseling clients on how to find their real personal power, heighten their awareness, and release the stranglehold that only their egos have on them, to successfully deal with challenging relationships:
Ten Steps to Success and Resolution
1. Become the unobstructed observer to answer the questions who, what, where, when, why and how is this happening?
2. Release any impulse to sink into centrally focusing on personalities – who’s “good”, who’s “bad”,who’s “right”, who’s “wrong” – and stop associatively judging yourself and another.
3. Similarly stop blaming individuals – relationship challenges are about what isn’t working between people that interferes with supporting the greater good; and “coming clear” with objectively, fully acknowledging that.
4. Ask yourself where the blocks are for you – what isn’t working for you – and unconditionally affirm that, journaling in as complete and specific a way as possible in a reflective, self-observing space.
5. Go deeper into that reflective space and imagine you are supported by the divine to rise higher and higher, letting go of whatever you feel you have been hopelessly attached to and entangled with as you rise – and then ask to be led to where your own higher self exists.
6. Imagine you let your higher self handle and freely respond to the situation, closely observing what happens, and then journal completely about this unfolding vision.
7. Now ask your higher self to speak to you and show you where there is a lack of love and higher power in this situation, and once more record all that is shown to you.
8. Finally, ask your higher self to reveal the full, core depth of your innate integrity; and ask your integrity to rule your life and response in all relationships, especially the ones that aren’t working for you.
9. Ask your higher self to reveal to you where there exists “the unforgiven”; and reflect and journal as deeply and extensively as you can on how these incomplete and disquieting spaces reveal what has not been accepted as simply having happened.
10. Ask if you more greatly loved yourself and “the others”, how would you commit to responding – and begin to act in these ways.
Heal and Grow Through Confronting Relationship Challenges
Relationship challenges are our key way to truly grow and heal. We are meant to experience these “rubbing” relationships that always offer core opportunities to evolve and more greatly love from a place of freedom, self-responsibility, spiritual/personal power, and developing integrity.
We are here to become and be greater; and to discover through relationship challenges what that really means to us and the place we rightly inhabit in a ricocheting, accelerating, crisis-ridden world. These are all the ways our mind and hearts can establish sacred “breathing space” and the courage to do what our souls whisper to us is the right and truly best thing, without allowing external pressure to take this right away.
Establish Your Own Assertive Guidelines Through Respecting Yourself and All Others as Equals
Then we can inhabit our own divine space and “inspire” ourselves and others to do likewise. Establishing our own assertive guidelines from a place of respect, honesty, caring, and without violation dismantles relationship challenges and restores peace without agenda or dictate.
Rebirth yourself, your life and your participation in your relationships in these integrative ways, and watch miracles happen in your life! What more can you offer those who are most closely connected to you?